How Can I Say Goodbye
by Snow Rabbit
Summary: Anzu's thoughts about when she was with Yami. For Anzu fans and lovers alike. Some swearing, yaoi, and sexual content (het). Sad, angst-type story.


This is simply Anzu's thoughts about when she was with Yami. For Anzu fans and lovers alike. However, be warned, there is the slightest hint of (het) sexual content, swearing, and some unimportant yaoi. If you're really impatient, you can see the what the yaoi pairing is at the bottom of the page, but I suggest you wait and just read out the story... enjoy...   
  
How Can I Say Goodbye  
  
_____________________  
  
How can I say goodbye to the one I love so much...? How can I be expected to live with nothing but ghosts of memories...? I don't want to! I just want to be with the most important person to me... is this too much to ask for?  
  
I care for him so much still... I love my Yami so much... Even though he's gone from me, even though I can never be with him again, I know in my heart that I will always love him as long as I live.   
  
I'll never forget the beginning, when you and I became us. We had love right? You loved me, right? Or else, why? Why anything!?  
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***  
  
She and Yami sat atop the notorious make-out peak, a quiet spot that looked over the city. Stars scattered the sky, more than usual, actually. Each and every star shone brightly like the tiny pin pricks in the sky that they were meant to be, smiling down at the two who sat before them. Or, at least, it seemed that way to her. Perhaps it was simply the perfection of the moment that filled her heart with joy, that made her wish that this, the here and now, would last forever.  
  
Yami stared at the starlight, appearing to be concentrating very hard on the night sky. "Anzu..."  
  
Her head immediately turned to look at him in the moonlight. "Yami, is something wrong...?" She asked quietly, sorely wishing that there was not.  
  
"No. Nothing is wrong." He looked into her eyes and then gently brushed some of the hair out of her face. "I just... want you to know something..."  
  
She did not respond, though her cheeks flushed and her heartbeat quickened.  
  
"...well, um... seeing as how I brought you here, I'm guessing you know how I feel about you...uh...and...I..."  
  
'He's so cute when he's nervous!' She smiled at him, encouragingly placing a hand on his arm.  
  
He started to subconsciously play with the hem of his jacket. "I... want to know if you'd like to go out with me more... as... my... girlfriend..."  
  
Her heart leapt, basking in these words. "Yes! Of course."  
  
Yami smiled at her (in a way that she thought was so cute). "Then I have one more question to ask you right now."  
  
"And what is that?"  
  
He placed one hand on the side of her face. "May I kiss you?"  
  
She blushed, becoming redder than she already was, nodding emphatically.  
  
Needless to say, he bent forward and kissed her, the first kiss for both of them (in this particular life time, at least), a sweet kiss of new beginnings.  
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***  
  
How could anything have torn us appart? I still do not know... All I know is that I miss him and wish that he was here with me again, like the first time we made love. That's what he always called it, not sex, not 'screwing' or 'fucking,' but love.   
  
About eighteen months after that night on the peak was day that everyone knew as Yami's birthday, the day that Yugi completed the Millennium Puzzle. Speaking of Yugi, he wasn't suffering like I am the last time that I saw him. You'd think that life now would affect him, but no. It appears that I care about Yami more than anyone else. I think that Yami realized that that day. I hope so...   
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***  
  
Anzu knew her love for Yami was intense, yet he was becoming distant. They hardly ever went out, they talked on the phone maybe a week ago, but only briefly... he even seemed to avoid her at school lately. She tried to tell herself that she was trying to catch a fish in the air, trying to find something that wasn't even there. However, she simply became more and more uneasy, so she decided that on his birthday, she would show him how much she loved him, in hopes of ameliorating anything that possibly could be wrong.  
  
Afterschool, she led Yami to her house and asked him to wait for her in her room while she freshened up. Yami seemed a little uneasy to her, but she made it leave her mind, telling herself that /i was the one who was nervous here.  
  
When she returned to him, a robe wrapped tightly around her. She sat down next to him and handed him a small box, with an uncertainsmile. "Happy Birthday, Yami."  
  
Yami smiled back at her and started to open the box (after thanking her with a soft kiss). He held the content of the box between his thumb and index finger, waving it around. "What is this?"  
  
"Yami, you know what that is."  
  
The smile had disappeared from his face. "A condom."  
  
"Uh-huh. And you know what two people use that for."  
  
"You want to make love... with me... Are you sure you want this? "  
  
"One hundred percent. I'm giving myself to you. If you don't take me now, I don't know what I'm going to do." She stood up and took off her robe, revealing the fact that all she was wearing was a lacy bra and panties. She unhooked the bra and practically shoved her breasts on Yami's face. At the same time, she brought down her hand and timidly stroked him through his pants.  
  
He kissed her breasts and whispered, "I could never refuse."  
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***/center  
  
I now realize I should have been less prostitute-like, but I don't regret what happened between us. I just remember that... after... laying beside me... he said,'I love you.'  
  
Things got a little better after that and we were happy, I think... we had sex three more times after that... before 'us' became just me... If only if fate hadn't robbed me...  
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***  
  
One late afternoon, Yami and Anzu were walking hand in hand through the city, Anzu holding a bouquet of white roses Yami had brought her. They weren't going in any particular direction, though they found themselves walking in the park. Anzu was carefree... she couldn't stop smiling... this was the first time she spent such a long time with Yami in two weeks. And then... she saw Kaiba.  
  
"I need to speak to Yami alone." He barked out.  
  
"I'm not leaving."  
  
Kaiba glared at her and then simply looked angry. "Fine then... perhaps this will mean more if there's a witness..."  
  
"Don't hit him!" She cried out, creating a barrier between Yami and Kaiba.   
  
Yami put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Anzu. Don't get hurt unecessarily... It's fine."  
  
Yami gently pulled her back.  
  
Kaiba suddenly smiled in such a way that was quite alien to his face... so tender... He took one of Yami's hands into his own. "Yami. I love you and I'm not afraid, nor ashamed to admit it. Now what do you say to this?"  
  
Anzu looked at Yami and to her horror, he was looking at Kaiba (Kaiba!) with an also very tender look.  
  
"I'm so sorry Anzu," He whispered...   
  
She couldn't believe this was happening... could hardly make out what was being said. Something important, though... 'Seto'... 'love'... 'more'... 'forever'... The tears flowed... She glared as hard as she could at the moment in the direction she knew Kaiba was in. "You mother fucking son of a bitch! How dare you! How dare you..." She ran away, repeating her last three words over and over.  
  
*.**~**.*~***.~.***~*.**~**.*~***.~.***  
  
I hate that day... it's been three months since and I still can't stop thinking about him... Sometimes, I go to sleep praying that I'll wake up and it'll be a dream... or that I'll be dead...  
  
I still see Yami and Kaiba at school... except now, I can't bear to be either one... I don't know why anymore...   
  
I think that I will never completely get over this... that I will be damned to a life of loneliness, with the sound of my own tears lulling me, forcing me to sleep at night...  
  
_____________________  
  
That's that. I think that it was a bit short, a bit sad, and weird. I hope you liked it, though. I'm considering writing more but in different POVs... But that depends on you... If you think I should change the rating, tell me, don't report me or anything... I really don't have anything bad here... have mercy on the young author... The yaoi pairing, of course, Yami and Seto. 


End file.
